The ones I didn't reply to...

Some of the top approaches to contact I've had online. Remember kids: these people are allowed to use the internet unsupervised.

"If I were going to compare you to a car I'd say you were a really souped up white ford capri from the 1980's with a bit of rust for good measure."

Wow, I'm like a rusty car? You flatter me!

"i love your photo and witty profile however i'm much (much much lol) older than you are. i live here in dumfries, have quite a strong sexuality in that i get an erection easily, much too easily lol, and have been on my own for about four years. one of my biggest loves is music, both listening and making."

I'm not sure if you're trying to interest me, or let me know right from the outset that you're a dirty old man (he's 62).

"Hey you serial killer :) Wanna shoot me? :)"

"OOOOK... you don`t like me, but I like you you little evil :)"

2 of the 4 (unresponded) contacts from one guy. I think he may have got off on the wrong foot...and continued hopping on it.

"I`m not one to talk about myself too much but I`m fairly attractive,have my act together and I`m really funny.So if you don`t like to laugh then we`re in trouble."

So, you're funny, but if I don't find you funny, it's my own fault, yes? I think not.

"wow..your nice"

Thanks. You're kind. But utterly lacking in any conversational skills.

" i like your picture only one problem i live in stonehaven"

Yes, that is a problem. For you. Stonehaven's horrible.