Another dating horrors update

For the continued education and entertainment of those not subjected to the wonderful world of singledom....

A few more contacts. You may see a pattern developing...

"hi how r u today?x"

"Evening how are you tonight? Im ---- normal not a total loon but can enjoy myself when looking at pix stookie of 21st june. Im a loving caring guy just looking for the same as yourself would you like to come and chat? x"

" Roast Beef Monster Much are just about as good as Pickled Onion Monster Munch."

"I too find roast beef Monster Munch a fantastic food group,
Sharks? (If I could swim, I would probaly not due to fear of being eaten, after watching Jaws as a child).

I my dear am not a total loon. How does a honeymoon in Legoland sound?

---- x"

"How are you fancy a chat? My name is --- x"

"hi thre, I liked your profile so thought i would say hi. WOuld you like to chat?

x"

"you are a very beautiful women"

"Pretty normal bloke (sort of), seeking friendship (maybe more) with humerous non bubble-head.

Is it worth a coffee to find out?"

"thought i would drop by and say hi...you profile is good..you must like humour as thats what comes across when i read it....would be really nice to chat with you...."

"Did you have a good weekend?

Please don't tell me you went swimming and the sharks got you!!!!!!! :o"

"how are you ?"

"Just thought I'd say hello... Im a big fan of tablet, my gran used to make awesome stuff :)
Not that much into swimming no?
:)"

"hey"

"hi x. you best of all."

" just wanted to say hello and how are things with you."

"Were you thanking crunchie yesterday that it was friday? :)"

"you don't look like a serial killer but i can see you have the potential when all dressed uop to be drop dead gorgeous. X ----."

"Hi
How are you doing are you having a fun summer?
ps nice top. Looks good on you!---"

"hello sexy"

"hey ther ,hows things?"


"hi, how are you.
i confess to checking the wate before i jump in, even if its a swimming pool...!
i blame jaws..

but then again, i swam in the waters of capetown and durban so i should be immune.
fat chance.


cheeky ----l"


" hey there, hows your evening going?"


"Hi,how was your day?"


" i love your profile plus you do look like a serial killer in your pics.. that smile can kill many and that innosence is the reason why you still dodge the law .. lol.."


"Wanted to say hi and see if you fancy a chat some time"


" how u doing"



" Hi

Good profile and photo and you obviously have a good sense of humour. So drop me a line if you fancy a chat, -----."



"hi ....xx"


"Hey there, just having a browse and happened across your profile..........Hello!! ;)"


"Can I get the spoon and the pot please mammy - he got it last time lol "


"Hello
I am ---- I am from Edinburgh he like to find a lady who from the same city if she is looking for the same thank I dont smarts

If she his a Email?

Thank you
----"


"hello my name is ---- wondered if you wanted to chat at this late hour .tonight i am watching lost on dvd you doing anything ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"


"Hi!!

how are you"


"Well you don't look like a serial killer in your profile so I thought I would say hi.

How are you tonight? Have you had a good weekend so far?

P.S. Pickles onion monster munch is good for a hangover too."



"How are you?x"


"how u doing" - please note, this is his second Joey-style email: now being blocked.


"hello how are you"


" Hi there, how are you?"


" interesting statement im intrigued nice picture to. hi im ---- xxx"


"Hey...How are you?"


"Any chance for a chat? or would "being polish" be a big "no-no"?:)"


"hi just thought i would say hi how are you?"


"hiya. how are you. that's a lovely photo you have on your profile."


"hi! not sure what to type when meeting some one new do you have any pointer's?"


"was just reading your profile and you sound really sweet was wondering would you fancy gettin to know each other.........."


"Hey, still alive? Hope so, then we can chat."


"Car ? Check that's such a random question
haha, hi I'm ----"

There is a definite trend to asking if we can "chat". Top tip - maybe if you suggest something to chat about, or actually start a conversation, I might? Also, as noted before, just saying "hi" is not really a great approach to creating a conversation.

And if I don't reply to your first email, the next 4 aren't going to encourage me to think you're normal, you're sadly mistaken.

So, if you want to contact any of these chaps, I can put you in touch...don't all rush at once now, gals!